Monday, September 5, 2011

Get A Room, Creeps

Looks like the Gulchers have competition. Worse still, many kids access the park from the trails stemming off of dead-end streets.

Via the Humboldt Herald:

Psssst. Hey, Casanova. It has come to our attention that you need a few pointers on how to keep your “secret” encounters secret.

Moving your play dates outside the office is a good first step. You’re a fast learner.

But on Wednesday afternoon, when you had that, shall we say,meeting in a red SUV tucked in the hidden reaches of a dead end street at Cooper Gulch? Way too obvious. Even that semi-secluded nook has witnesses.

Your truck, which you parked a couple blocks away, is too recognizable. Not to mention your own fine self — people know your mug. Hurrying along while looking over your shoulder like a nervous dude on a secret mission only attracts attention.

Your lunchtime rendezvous lasted about 40 minutes. You were seen both coming and going — let’s make that leaving and arriving. You departed the scene a little after 2pm. Your, uh, colleague, the lady in the red SUV, drove away two minutes later.

The point is this: if you want to keep these matters on the down low you might consider an actually private spot further outside city limits. Unless you get a thrill in the risk of being seen. In which case you should feel breathlessly busted.